Oh, well, in five years time we could be walking round the zoo With the sun shining down over me and you
And there’ll be love in the bodys of the elephants too I’ll put my hands of your eyes, but you peek through
And there’ll be sun, sun, sun All over our bodies. And sun, sun, sun I’ll die in next There’ll be sun, sun, sun All over our faces And sun, sun, sun So, what the hell
‘cause i’ll be laughing around your silly little jokes And we’ll be laughing about how we use to smoke All those stupid little cigarretes and drinks to put wine ‘cause it’s what we need to have good times
But it was fun, fun, fun When we were drinking. It was fun, fun, fun When we were drunk And it was fun, fun, fun When we were laughing It was fun, fun, fun Oh, it was fun.
Oh, well, I look at you and say: “it’s the happiest that i’ve ever been” And i’ll say: “I no longer feel that I have to be James Dean” And you say: “yeah, and i feel a pretty happy too, and i’m always pretty happy when i’m just thinking about with you”
And will be love, love, love Love throught our bodys. Love, love, love All throught our minds And will be love, love, love All over her face And love, love, love All over our minds.
And i’ll remember all these moments suggesting my head I’ll be thinking about then and there’s lying in bed And i know that you believe that might not keeping come through But in my mind i’m having a pretty time with you
Five years time I might not know it Five years time We might not speak And five years time We might not get along Five years time We might to prove me along
Oh, there’ll be love, love, love Wherever you go There’ll be love, love, love
I was curious so I downloaded it... I signed up and started recreating myself in pixels... I wanted to be different. I wanted to be authentic. I wanted my avatar to look physically as much as I do as possible. I didn't want to have some pencil thin barbie looking "thing" representing me in this virtual world! That's how it started at least... but as I spent more time there my avatar changed... some would say grew... I think it still looks a bit like me, but maybe with the physical "flaws" taken out... no extra weight... maybe a little taller... no scars... no spilt ends... no hairy legs or unplucked eye brows :) Maybe that's the attraction of Second life... we can be (physically at least) who we feel we are on the inside... attractive, confident... If we can't walk, well in second life we can. If we are allergic to the sun, in secondlife we can bath in sunlight without fear... Maybe in second life we have a chance to wipe the slate clean... to start again... no one has to know our pasts (even though they tend to follow us anyways)... we can attempt to redeem ourselves whether physically, intellectually or emotionally. I say attempt as I'm not sure how successful t really is... Maybe for the majority this is not the case. It is just a game in which they are able to draw strong distinctions between RL and SL. There is no cross over. Although I've yet to meet these people...
One thing I can't help but notice... If this is the attraction to second life, living, being who we think we are really designed to be (whether that be good or bad)... How much stronger should the attraction or repulsion be to God? God who offers a blank slate? God who offers a second chance? God who offers positional perfection and promises to love us fiercely, relentlessly, until the layers of damage have been peeled back to reveal the Real Life in us... The Real you and me he created...
Well so much for going at it. Two months later almost to the day here's post number two.
Why is it so hard to keep in touch with friends who aren't in your face and I don't mean their personalities I mean their geographical location. I have several wonderful people in my life whom I haven't talked to in months, or maybe even years... Jarret that means you!! The stupid thing is I can't remember your last name to look you up... I only have an old hotmail address and with the mear global domination of google who has one f those anymore? Heidi in the states, meine German amigos, Dee... how do you do it? How do you keep in touch with the ones you love in a way that is meaningful but not at the cost of a plane ticket?
Skype... I've heard that's a good one... but it means the other person has to have it too... Anyway - if you've got any ideas let me know...
Oh, and small confession... I've recently caught up with an old school friend from when I was about 12 - he's just gotten engaged! Yay... well when I was about 11 or 12 my friend and I called up this guy (thinking it was a different guy) and my friend tld him i liked him... I was mortified when I worked out it was the wrong one... oh well... my past cannot hurt me, right? :)
It's a continual journey - this discovered more about how God put us together (speaking in the royal sense of 'we'). Part of that for me has been learning or re-learning what I need to keep my batteries charged. You have no idea what a relief it is to find out that your hours of 'day-dreaming' are actually the means by which you learn and process, and indeed make decisions. I need to think. Desperately. I also need to write. Not for anyone in particular but to learn and to process. To reduce stress as all that spirals round and round in my head is spilled out onto page... I don't expect that anyone really reads this and I don't think it's that important to me...I read it. That's important. I have no agenda (that I'm aware of) just a place to process. So this is my new discipline... spiritual or otherwise. Not a diary or a journal for I have one of those but my own percolator.
Imagine being stuck in one of those hedge mazes... lost... not knowing which way was north let alone which way was out... One moment frantically running, thinking if you can just move fast enough you will get to the end... The next moment curled up in a ball, hiding in a corner, waiting for it all to end... The branches tear at your skin everytime you fall... the ground cold and hard, without comfort. You pass others in the maze, some too busy to stop and help for they are running too... Some you pass, unaware that they are trapped... blisfully wandering. Others promise they way out but upon close examination you realise that they haven't got the answers... They are as lost as you... In exhaustion, you crumble to the ground, spent. Nothing more to give. Then you hear it... the still small voice... the whisper... "Stand up..." you cannot move... you are too tired... "Trust me... Stand up..." As you struggle to drag your feet under you, you feel a strong hand grip your arm and lift you to your feet. Standing, the maze doesn't seem quite as tall anymore... infact you can see over the walls for miles...
When all is said and done... In the moment where time stands still and you are painfully aware of who you are... When the movie plays back and you see who you used to be... There can be nothing but a heart-cry of 'only you God'...