Long time, no post...

I thought my rose coloured glasses were pretty well in place and yes the world was a messed up place but it wasn't all bad. Something happened, glasses were ripped off and I was left gagging. I don't think you ever truly understand the horrible things that people do to each other until you are the recipient or someone you love is.

Then I went see the circus. (I seriously considered hiding out and not coming home afterwards.) It was a magical surreal escape, filled with beauty, grace, strength and power. Watching the artist perfoem I almost believed that I could fly too.

How is it that we, as humans, are capable of so much destruction and cruelty yet at the same time can create inexplicable wonders? How can so much evil co-exist with so much beauty? How do hands that create and heal turn in the next moment and inflict pain? And why is it that amongst all this, all that most of us can think about is ourselves?

What's his name from Aussie Idol released that song 'what about me' with the lines in it
"What about me?
It isn't fair
I've had enough,
now I want my share
Can't you see,
I wanna live
But you just take more than you give"

With all that has happened in the last week, I will be honest, I want my share. I want my break. I want to tell people what I think of their behaviour and to stop jsut thinking of themselves for a mintue. Yell and scream at the top of my lungs "I've had enough! What about me for a change?" I honestly feel I have a ligitimate claim to that statement at the moment.

But then I stop, and wonder if this is what Jesus was talking about when he said 'take up your cross and follow me.' I don't get to be justified to the world in this life time. There are somethings that are unfair and will never be righted.

"take up your cross and follow me.' Pick up and carry the very thing that people will crucify you with and follow me throught the crowds. People will shout obscenities at you, they will throw things at you and spit at you. They will not understand what you are doing or why you are doing it, but just keep following me. Run this race with me. I promise you won't regret it. I be your strength, I will be on your left and your right, your front and your back, above and below. Nothing can take me away from you, nor you from me. And this I promise you, today you will be with me in heaven.