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Monday, November 28
epilogue ot my theology in film paper...
All my life I have been asking myself the wrong question- ‘what’s wrong with me?’ It’s the wrong question. We all view the world through a paradigm, so why not ourselves as well? What underlying assumptions and questions are there when we look in the mirror?
Main stream media is driven by the consumer market which in turn, thrives off consumers. Media is also geared to answer the questions we ask of it. If my question s is ‘what is wrong with me,’ I am quick to be told not thin enough, not rich enough, not beautiful enough, not powerful enough, and not successful enough. So what are the solutions? In step the advertisers – pills programmes, seminars, diets and treatments – all geared to fix the problem of the answer to the wrong question. We buy the stuff – it doesn’t fix our wrongness, so we ask the question again – seamless cycle. What scares me is that I can ask the same question of Christianity and get a similar answer. What’s wrong with me? I don’t pray enough, you don’t read your bible enough, you don’t spend enough time in silent solitude, and you don’t worship enough, or sponsor enough children. And the solution? Buy a book, listen to sermon, follow this prayer liturgy… None of these things are bad in and of themselves however we can turn them into a 21st Century legalistic work, flogging ourselves out of the church and out of faith, trying to fix something God never asked us to fix; all because we asked the wrong question.
‘Hollywood’ tells us that we have two options – escape reality and become what we are not or be miserable because you are who you are. Never once do they suggest we should take honest account of ourselves, work out what is DNA and can be worked on. God didn’t design us without limitations. We have physical bodies that have limits – they can be pushed, yes, but never broken. We have certain brain chemical mixes that determine personality, intelligence and abilities – these can be grown altered and repressed but only within certain parameters.
I think many (including myself) tackle life from the wrong end. Like an upside down triangle we tackle behaviours, attitudes, maybe even values first and find the results all too often temporary- like pruning a tree to cure a disease in the roots. Whereas, if we were to start at the other end and change the underlying world view, then work out the parameters of our individual design that we have to operate within we would all cope with life a whole lot better, be a whole lot happier and probably more effective to boot (but I could just be selling another seminar…)
There is nothing ‘wrong’ with us, and by wrong I mean in ‘who I am’ as opposed to ‘what I do’. If our underlying assumption is that something is wrong with us then we will never be able to accept the things about us that are good, we will continually reject ourselves and we will always question God’s blessing in our lives. There is also something in the very DNA of human nature that knows wrong must be punished. I’ll bet (not that Christians should of course – that would be wrong) that it’s part of every culture. If ‘I’ am wrong then ‘I’ must be punished. Physical self harm. Self sabotage – to prove to the rest of the world that you’ve been tight about your ‘wrongness’ all along. Fear – that if you try and succeed someone will discover your wrongness; call you out as a fraud and you’ll loose any acceptance you might have. So if this is the ailment – to which my whole being calls out ‘amen!’ what is the medicine?
Hearing, believing then turning into the underlying assumption of your worldview the following….
But now. Two of the most beautiful words to the ears of a sinner who realises his woeful state.
21But now, apart from the law, the righteousness of God has been disclosed, and is attested by the law and the prophets, 22the righteousness of God through fait in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction, 23since all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God; 24they are now justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, 25whom God put forward as a sacrifice of atonement by his blood, effective through faith. He did this to show his righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over the sins previously committed; 26it was to prove at the present time that he himself is righteous and that he justifies the on who has faith in Jesus.
Main stream media is driven by the consumer market which in turn, thrives off consumers. Media is also geared to answer the questions we ask of it. If my question s is ‘what is wrong with me,’ I am quick to be told not thin enough, not rich enough, not beautiful enough, not powerful enough, and not successful enough. So what are the solutions? In step the advertisers – pills programmes, seminars, diets and treatments – all geared to fix the problem of the answer to the wrong question. We buy the stuff – it doesn’t fix our wrongness, so we ask the question again – seamless cycle. What scares me is that I can ask the same question of Christianity and get a similar answer. What’s wrong with me? I don’t pray enough, you don’t read your bible enough, you don’t spend enough time in silent solitude, and you don’t worship enough, or sponsor enough children. And the solution? Buy a book, listen to sermon, follow this prayer liturgy… None of these things are bad in and of themselves however we can turn them into a 21st Century legalistic work, flogging ourselves out of the church and out of faith, trying to fix something God never asked us to fix; all because we asked the wrong question.
‘Hollywood’ tells us that we have two options – escape reality and become what we are not or be miserable because you are who you are. Never once do they suggest we should take honest account of ourselves, work out what is DNA and can be worked on. God didn’t design us without limitations. We have physical bodies that have limits – they can be pushed, yes, but never broken. We have certain brain chemical mixes that determine personality, intelligence and abilities – these can be grown altered and repressed but only within certain parameters.
I think many (including myself) tackle life from the wrong end. Like an upside down triangle we tackle behaviours, attitudes, maybe even values first and find the results all too often temporary- like pruning a tree to cure a disease in the roots. Whereas, if we were to start at the other end and change the underlying world view, then work out the parameters of our individual design that we have to operate within we would all cope with life a whole lot better, be a whole lot happier and probably more effective to boot (but I could just be selling another seminar…)
There is nothing ‘wrong’ with us, and by wrong I mean in ‘who I am’ as opposed to ‘what I do’. If our underlying assumption is that something is wrong with us then we will never be able to accept the things about us that are good, we will continually reject ourselves and we will always question God’s blessing in our lives. There is also something in the very DNA of human nature that knows wrong must be punished. I’ll bet (not that Christians should of course – that would be wrong) that it’s part of every culture. If ‘I’ am wrong then ‘I’ must be punished. Physical self harm. Self sabotage – to prove to the rest of the world that you’ve been tight about your ‘wrongness’ all along. Fear – that if you try and succeed someone will discover your wrongness; call you out as a fraud and you’ll loose any acceptance you might have. So if this is the ailment – to which my whole being calls out ‘amen!’ what is the medicine?
Hearing, believing then turning into the underlying assumption of your worldview the following….
But now. Two of the most beautiful words to the ears of a sinner who realises his woeful state.
21But now, apart from the law, the righteousness of God has been disclosed, and is attested by the law and the prophets, 22the righteousness of God through fait in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction, 23since all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God; 24they are now justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, 25whom God put forward as a sacrifice of atonement by his blood, effective through faith. He did this to show his righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over the sins previously committed; 26it was to prove at the present time that he himself is righteous and that he justifies the on who has faith in Jesus.
Wednesday, September 21
the core of the issue...
What makes us human? That core, unchanging, eternal element of humanity that cannot be taken away from us... cannot be turned off...
This flows through my thoughts following earlier ponderings as to whether or not, if marooned on a desert island by my self, unable to 'do' anything for God, if he would still love or want me...
Now the conclusion I came to is 'of course stupid!' it has nothing to do with what we can do for God for we cannot do anything he cannot do himself...
The next leap in my reckoning is what if I were in a car accident? Tragically wounded to the verge of death... left cruelly blind. deaf, mute, paralysed and brain damaged... do you see where I'm going? Do I cease to be human?
Is my humanity contained in my abilty to see? The blind would tell you 'no'.
Is my humanity contained in my ability to hear? The deaf would tell you 'no'.
Is my humanity contained in my ability to speak? The mute would tell you... well... 'no'.
Is my humanity contained in my ability to run, dance, or play?
To think, reason or feel? I'm beginning to think... no.
Can this accident or indeed anything, take away my humanity?
Or are we defined by something else? The only thing I can think of that does not cease to exist in the event of any of the above happening is my position in regards to others... ie I remain my mother's daughter, my friends friend and most of all God's child...
There's more to be thought on this but not right now... I have assignemnts to do!!
This flows through my thoughts following earlier ponderings as to whether or not, if marooned on a desert island by my self, unable to 'do' anything for God, if he would still love or want me...
Now the conclusion I came to is 'of course stupid!' it has nothing to do with what we can do for God for we cannot do anything he cannot do himself...
The next leap in my reckoning is what if I were in a car accident? Tragically wounded to the verge of death... left cruelly blind. deaf, mute, paralysed and brain damaged... do you see where I'm going? Do I cease to be human?
Is my humanity contained in my abilty to see? The blind would tell you 'no'.
Is my humanity contained in my ability to hear? The deaf would tell you 'no'.
Is my humanity contained in my ability to speak? The mute would tell you... well... 'no'.
Is my humanity contained in my ability to run, dance, or play?
To think, reason or feel? I'm beginning to think... no.
Can this accident or indeed anything, take away my humanity?
Or are we defined by something else? The only thing I can think of that does not cease to exist in the event of any of the above happening is my position in regards to others... ie I remain my mother's daughter, my friends friend and most of all God's child...
There's more to be thought on this but not right now... I have assignemnts to do!!
Wednesday, September 7
Monday, September 5
Thursday, July 7
I believe...
I believe life is more than survival
I believe the heart is more than a muscle
I believe we can know right from wrong
I believe in hope and freedom
I believe my life can make a difference
I believe the message of the cross
What do you believe?
(Romans 10:9-13, Ephesians 2:8-10)
I believe the heart is more than a muscle
I believe we can know right from wrong
I believe in hope and freedom
I believe my life can make a difference
I believe the message of the cross
What do you believe?
(Romans 10:9-13, Ephesians 2:8-10)
Thursday, June 2
See the art in me...
Images on the sidewalk speak of dream’s decent
Washed away by storms to graves of cynical lament
Dirty canvases to call my own
Protest limericks carved by the old pay phone
In your picture book I’m trying hard to see
Turning endless pages of this tragedy
Sculpting every move you compose a symphony
You plead to everyone, see the art in me
Broken stained-glass windows, the fragments ramble on
Tales of broken souls, an eternity’s been won
As critics scorn the thoughts and works of mortal man
My eyes are drawn to you in awe once again
In your picture book I’m trying hard to see
Turning endless pages of this tragedy
Sculpting every move you compose a symphony
You plead to everyone, see the art in me
-jars of clay
I gave my mum an unfinished picture for her birthday today. It received a number of positive comments which I thought was unusual. You see for me, when I look at the picture, I see the work still to be done; the imperfections and mistake... when others look at it the see art.
When I look at myself I see the mistakes, the growing still to be done; all my imperfections on a living canvas. God looks at me and sees the finished work of art he is creating...
Washed away by storms to graves of cynical lament
Dirty canvases to call my own
Protest limericks carved by the old pay phone
In your picture book I’m trying hard to see
Turning endless pages of this tragedy
Sculpting every move you compose a symphony
You plead to everyone, see the art in me
Broken stained-glass windows, the fragments ramble on
Tales of broken souls, an eternity’s been won
As critics scorn the thoughts and works of mortal man
My eyes are drawn to you in awe once again
In your picture book I’m trying hard to see
Turning endless pages of this tragedy
Sculpting every move you compose a symphony
You plead to everyone, see the art in me
-jars of clay
I gave my mum an unfinished picture for her birthday today. It received a number of positive comments which I thought was unusual. You see for me, when I look at the picture, I see the work still to be done; the imperfections and mistake... when others look at it the see art.
When I look at myself I see the mistakes, the growing still to be done; all my imperfections on a living canvas. God looks at me and sees the finished work of art he is creating...
Monday, May 2
Another rant....
What do we place the measure of our self worth in? Do we measure is y cognitive function or creativity? Physical strength, attractiveness or virility? Is it in our ability to be 'nice' to everyone, make people laugh, cry or experience any other conveyor belt emotion?
The answer I'd love to give, especially as a Christian, is no, of course not, but the more I look around at the Christian Marketplace the more I see this isn't true. Consumer churches, generic interchangeable worship teams, sermons-in-a-can... Are we any different? Yes, we offer Jesus, but can we do it without the Hugo Boss and cosmetic war paint? How come I get the feeling there cool Christians and uncool ones? Didn't Jesus come to break down those barriers?
If we hold on to the secular measuring stick what can we possibly hope to offer the 'ugly' 'stupid' and 'unlovable'? I use those words harshly but with good intent. Does God love me because I'm intelligent? No. Funny? No. Attractive? No. If I was to wake up tomorrow blind, dumb, deaf and paralysed. I Know Jesus would still be at my side with his arms around me.
So then, all these measures that I hold so tightly to, become irrelevant, which is terrifying, isn't it? For they define the very core of me, don't they? I am defined by what I look like. It means I can be told apart from others. I am defined by what I do and the skills I have. I am defined by my ability to make others react in a particular fashion, esp laughter. But do any of these things define my value? If they do then we immediately enter into our own caste system where people are ranked according to value. You cannot tell me this doesn't happen in Christian circles too? Even Paul had to address it in the church at Corinth, explaining that no one gift was better than the others. For us? Look at the Hallenstein and Glassons clones that inhabit our worship teams... and heaven forbid a speaker should ge tup on stage in jeans and a t-shirt (unless of course there is a suitable Christian alternative label to be worn).
Now I"m not knocking all these things (well, yes I am). I'm just at the point where I cannot use them to measure my value.
God doesn't work like that. He can't work like that, because then his love for me is dependent on me and that is doomed to fail.
You can't complete this sentence "God loves me because I _____" you can only say "God loves me because He _______"
that is our foundation, that is our cornerstone. That is the fundamental, underlying simple truth that God has been whittling me down to.
He loves me because he_____ I have no say in the matter. I can either reject it, making God a liar or I accept it as the constant on which to rebuild who I was designed to be.
The answer I'd love to give, especially as a Christian, is no, of course not, but the more I look around at the Christian Marketplace the more I see this isn't true. Consumer churches, generic interchangeable worship teams, sermons-in-a-can... Are we any different? Yes, we offer Jesus, but can we do it without the Hugo Boss and cosmetic war paint? How come I get the feeling there cool Christians and uncool ones? Didn't Jesus come to break down those barriers?
If we hold on to the secular measuring stick what can we possibly hope to offer the 'ugly' 'stupid' and 'unlovable'? I use those words harshly but with good intent. Does God love me because I'm intelligent? No. Funny? No. Attractive? No. If I was to wake up tomorrow blind, dumb, deaf and paralysed. I Know Jesus would still be at my side with his arms around me.
So then, all these measures that I hold so tightly to, become irrelevant, which is terrifying, isn't it? For they define the very core of me, don't they? I am defined by what I look like. It means I can be told apart from others. I am defined by what I do and the skills I have. I am defined by my ability to make others react in a particular fashion, esp laughter. But do any of these things define my value? If they do then we immediately enter into our own caste system where people are ranked according to value. You cannot tell me this doesn't happen in Christian circles too? Even Paul had to address it in the church at Corinth, explaining that no one gift was better than the others. For us? Look at the Hallenstein and Glassons clones that inhabit our worship teams... and heaven forbid a speaker should ge tup on stage in jeans and a t-shirt (unless of course there is a suitable Christian alternative label to be worn).
Now I"m not knocking all these things (well, yes I am). I'm just at the point where I cannot use them to measure my value.
God doesn't work like that. He can't work like that, because then his love for me is dependent on me and that is doomed to fail.
You can't complete this sentence "God loves me because I _____" you can only say "God loves me because He _______"
that is our foundation, that is our cornerstone. That is the fundamental, underlying simple truth that God has been whittling me down to.
He loves me because he_____ I have no say in the matter. I can either reject it, making God a liar or I accept it as the constant on which to rebuild who I was designed to be.
Monday, April 11
Growing pains...
Did you ever wonder why you either look back at your teenage years and either shudder or sigh with nostalgia? I'm one of the ones who shudders. Would I go back? No. They weren't that horrible but who wants to live with that kind of confusion, tension, embarrassment and chaos?
The amusing thing is, I've discovered that your spiritual life also goes through stages. I've hit the teenage years...
I honestly feel like I am experiencing spiritual and mental growing pains. It hurts... nothing fits properly and I am neither child nor man. It sux.
The amusing thing is, I've discovered that your spiritual life also goes through stages. I've hit the teenage years...
I honestly feel like I am experiencing spiritual and mental growing pains. It hurts... nothing fits properly and I am neither child nor man. It sux.
Thursday, April 7
Wild at heart...
I've just finished reading the book by John Eldrige called 'Wild at heart'. If you're a Christian bloke - read it. If you're a Christian chick - read it. AS a chick you might not like it at it does away with the image of the 'nice Christian guy'... but that's not what i'm here to talk about. Read the book for yourself and let me know what you think.
I want to know where the book is that tells us how to be real women! Have a look at the chicks in scripture... a close look. Are they really what we paint them to be? Subserviant, docile, eager to please... a dutiful house wife... most guys, well some guys anyway, will will cheer 'here here!'. Or do we have to other extreme, what the world would have us be. Either a ball busting, control freak, type A, wanna be bloke who scares the crap out of most people, or a bikini clad, rocket scientist and enjoys running half naked in the surf while finding the cure for cancer?
I don't know what the answer is yet, but I'm not particularly interested in any of these models... there must be more to being a woman of God...
I want to know where the book is that tells us how to be real women! Have a look at the chicks in scripture... a close look. Are they really what we paint them to be? Subserviant, docile, eager to please... a dutiful house wife... most guys, well some guys anyway, will will cheer 'here here!'. Or do we have to other extreme, what the world would have us be. Either a ball busting, control freak, type A, wanna be bloke who scares the crap out of most people, or a bikini clad, rocket scientist and enjoys running half naked in the surf while finding the cure for cancer?
I don't know what the answer is yet, but I'm not particularly interested in any of these models... there must be more to being a woman of God...
Tuesday, March 29
Post adrenaline low
Easter camp has finished. Pizza has been eaten. Raro packets consumed. Now what do I do? I took a day of and slept. Heaps.
What can I say I have learnt at camp? One thing. It's not about me. It can't be about me. It is about Jesus. That is a lofty statement and for most it doesn't mean much. But when you truly understand it means that nothing has the power to take you down. It means things are not dependant on your performance. It means that you can see outside of your circumstances.
If you're reading this and you don't know who this Jesus guy is then I challenge you to find out. I don't mean find out about church or Christians. Find out about Jesus. He is the way. He is the truth. He is the light. You might be in for a surprise...
What can I say I have learnt at camp? One thing. It's not about me. It can't be about me. It is about Jesus. That is a lofty statement and for most it doesn't mean much. But when you truly understand it means that nothing has the power to take you down. It means things are not dependant on your performance. It means that you can see outside of your circumstances.
If you're reading this and you don't know who this Jesus guy is then I challenge you to find out. I don't mean find out about church or Christians. Find out about Jesus. He is the way. He is the truth. He is the light. You might be in for a surprise...
Wednesday, February 23
Take flight
Sunday, a friend of mine took me flying. The car journey there was the longest 10 minutes of my life and the internal debate of rational vs. excitement was hard won. You see, I don’t' like flying. I don't think I'm scared of crashing; it's more the dubious yet apparently plausible physics behind it. When you fly in large planes it's a much less real experience (for me anyway); You get on this big bus, watch movies for 8 hours and step out into another country.
This plane was tiny, tiny in the way a fiat bambina is tiny, except without as much leg room, and the wind made it look like it was held together with blue tack.
AS my friend went through his well practiced check list, yanking this and wiggling that my internal monologue continued - dramatically enough that tears started to well up in my eyes looking at this large sardine can with wings.
The issue I was battling with was trust. I am the queen of self reliance and control. I don't like being vulnerable. I don't like not having control and honestly, I have a hard time trusting people. The fact that I stepped up into that plane I hope he takes as a huge compliment.
Now apart from my unfortunately not outgrown ability to scream like a girl, I learnt two important things on that flight...
1) (which I have to attribute to the pilot for pointing it out) When we, from the ground, look up and see a plane, we see just that, a distant object in the sky. We do not realise that they, in looking back at us, see the fields, buildings, mountains, seaside, trucks, cars, houses etc that surround us. They see not only us as the object but the wider context into which we fit.
I believe that the same can be said of God.
As we look up at Him (sometimes as a distant object) we don’t realise the bigger picture in which He sees us. Not just physically but also chronologically.
It is for this very ability that planes are employed in search and rescue, spotting fires and accidents. Also why, when you want to get an accurate contextual picture you get an aerial photograph.
How then does our understanding of our circumstances change when we realise that God holds the big picture? How much more are we able to trust Him when we begin to understand that He sees what we cannot?
2) The surrender, the relinquishing of control, the trust and the risk more accurately describe the Christian faith for me than the routine, conservative and legalistic faith to which so many Christians subscribe.
God beckons us to come and fly with Him – an act of surrender and trust. Parts of the ride are exhilarating, others breathtaking. Quite frankly there are times when it is just plain terrifying. Sometimes you hit turbulence, bad weather, or you just get plain sick. No matter what happens during flight there are two, I guess three guarantees.
A) God’s love will never leave you nor forsake you.
B) There is a place for you to spend eternity with Him and
C) There is no way you can walk away from it without your perspective changed.
So how am I different today because of this new adventure?
Despite the circumstances of my life, I will trust God for He sees the things I cannot. When He calls I will follow His voice. Where He calls me to be His hands and His feet I will go, but most of all, I will lay down my rights. I will hand over my fears. I will shelter in His arms and trust Him to make me whole.
This plane was tiny, tiny in the way a fiat bambina is tiny, except without as much leg room, and the wind made it look like it was held together with blue tack.
AS my friend went through his well practiced check list, yanking this and wiggling that my internal monologue continued - dramatically enough that tears started to well up in my eyes looking at this large sardine can with wings.
The issue I was battling with was trust. I am the queen of self reliance and control. I don't like being vulnerable. I don't like not having control and honestly, I have a hard time trusting people. The fact that I stepped up into that plane I hope he takes as a huge compliment.
Now apart from my unfortunately not outgrown ability to scream like a girl, I learnt two important things on that flight...
1) (which I have to attribute to the pilot for pointing it out) When we, from the ground, look up and see a plane, we see just that, a distant object in the sky. We do not realise that they, in looking back at us, see the fields, buildings, mountains, seaside, trucks, cars, houses etc that surround us. They see not only us as the object but the wider context into which we fit.
I believe that the same can be said of God.
As we look up at Him (sometimes as a distant object) we don’t realise the bigger picture in which He sees us. Not just physically but also chronologically.
It is for this very ability that planes are employed in search and rescue, spotting fires and accidents. Also why, when you want to get an accurate contextual picture you get an aerial photograph.
How then does our understanding of our circumstances change when we realise that God holds the big picture? How much more are we able to trust Him when we begin to understand that He sees what we cannot?
2) The surrender, the relinquishing of control, the trust and the risk more accurately describe the Christian faith for me than the routine, conservative and legalistic faith to which so many Christians subscribe.
God beckons us to come and fly with Him – an act of surrender and trust. Parts of the ride are exhilarating, others breathtaking. Quite frankly there are times when it is just plain terrifying. Sometimes you hit turbulence, bad weather, or you just get plain sick. No matter what happens during flight there are two, I guess three guarantees.
A) God’s love will never leave you nor forsake you.
B) There is a place for you to spend eternity with Him and
C) There is no way you can walk away from it without your perspective changed.
So how am I different today because of this new adventure?
Despite the circumstances of my life, I will trust God for He sees the things I cannot. When He calls I will follow His voice. Where He calls me to be His hands and His feet I will go, but most of all, I will lay down my rights. I will hand over my fears. I will shelter in His arms and trust Him to make me whole.
Friday, January 28
Long time, no post...
I thought my rose coloured glasses were pretty well in place and yes the world was a messed up place but it wasn't all bad. Something happened, glasses were ripped off and I was left gagging. I don't think you ever truly understand the horrible things that people do to each other until you are the recipient or someone you love is.
Then I went see the circus. (I seriously considered hiding out and not coming home afterwards.) It was a magical surreal escape, filled with beauty, grace, strength and power. Watching the artist perfoem I almost believed that I could fly too.
How is it that we, as humans, are capable of so much destruction and cruelty yet at the same time can create inexplicable wonders? How can so much evil co-exist with so much beauty? How do hands that create and heal turn in the next moment and inflict pain? And why is it that amongst all this, all that most of us can think about is ourselves?
What's his name from Aussie Idol released that song 'what about me' with the lines in it
"What about me?
It isn't fair
I've had enough,
now I want my share
Can't you see,
I wanna live
But you just take more than you give"
With all that has happened in the last week, I will be honest, I want my share. I want my break. I want to tell people what I think of their behaviour and to stop jsut thinking of themselves for a mintue. Yell and scream at the top of my lungs "I've had enough! What about me for a change?" I honestly feel I have a ligitimate claim to that statement at the moment.
But then I stop, and wonder if this is what Jesus was talking about when he said 'take up your cross and follow me.' I don't get to be justified to the world in this life time. There are somethings that are unfair and will never be righted.
"take up your cross and follow me.' Pick up and carry the very thing that people will crucify you with and follow me throught the crowds. People will shout obscenities at you, they will throw things at you and spit at you. They will not understand what you are doing or why you are doing it, but just keep following me. Run this race with me. I promise you won't regret it. I be your strength, I will be on your left and your right, your front and your back, above and below. Nothing can take me away from you, nor you from me. And this I promise you, today you will be with me in heaven.
Then I went see the circus. (I seriously considered hiding out and not coming home afterwards.) It was a magical surreal escape, filled with beauty, grace, strength and power. Watching the artist perfoem I almost believed that I could fly too.
How is it that we, as humans, are capable of so much destruction and cruelty yet at the same time can create inexplicable wonders? How can so much evil co-exist with so much beauty? How do hands that create and heal turn in the next moment and inflict pain? And why is it that amongst all this, all that most of us can think about is ourselves?
What's his name from Aussie Idol released that song 'what about me' with the lines in it
"What about me?
It isn't fair
I've had enough,
now I want my share
Can't you see,
I wanna live
But you just take more than you give"
With all that has happened in the last week, I will be honest, I want my share. I want my break. I want to tell people what I think of their behaviour and to stop jsut thinking of themselves for a mintue. Yell and scream at the top of my lungs "I've had enough! What about me for a change?" I honestly feel I have a ligitimate claim to that statement at the moment.
But then I stop, and wonder if this is what Jesus was talking about when he said 'take up your cross and follow me.' I don't get to be justified to the world in this life time. There are somethings that are unfair and will never be righted.
"take up your cross and follow me.' Pick up and carry the very thing that people will crucify you with and follow me throught the crowds. People will shout obscenities at you, they will throw things at you and spit at you. They will not understand what you are doing or why you are doing it, but just keep following me. Run this race with me. I promise you won't regret it. I be your strength, I will be on your left and your right, your front and your back, above and below. Nothing can take me away from you, nor you from me. And this I promise you, today you will be with me in heaven.
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